Clare and Craig share their personal reasons for choosing the theme, “Finding Hope”, and discuss what hope means to them. They are joined by guests,…Retaining the Passion: Finding Hope
Now, for a change, this one is easy. There are lots of things that make me happy, in fact, I could write a list as long as my arm, but top six – easy peasy!
I am extremely close to my family: my mum, Carole, dad, Adam, and siblings, Kevin and Jennifer. They were a major contributing factor behind me moving back to Scotland, because I missed them so much.
They have always been there for me, particularly when I went through an extremely dark period before moving home. During that time, my mum saved my life; I owe her everything. And I am eternally grateful to all of them for their unwavering support and unconditional love. I can truly be myself with them, warts and all.
I was so worried about coming out to them as gay because their opinion matters so much to me. This worry led to much inner self-loathing, and internalised homophobia – toxic, as I essentially hated myself for the way I was born. I didn’t want things to change. I didn’t want them to view or treat me differently.
I have been so lucky with the way things have turned out. They were terrific, and they are truly the most supportive, lovely people you could ever hope to meet. All that has changed is I can now be my most authentic self around them. I wish I’d never put myself through the years of torment it took for me to be brave enough to admit it to them. The thing was I had to accept it and admit it to myself first. I want to assure you – it does get better.
The only issue I had initially was with my dad, but I blame that on the fact when a person has to “come out”, parents are then forced to view their child as someone who has a sexual identity. No parent wants to do that, which is why I hate the fact we have to “come out” at all. Straight people don’t have to do that. But, over time things changed, and my dad and I now have a better relationship than ever. I am so proud of him – and he is the loudest cheerleader I have, always fighting in my corner.
So, I love my family, and they are my favourite people in the world. My only complaint: I wish my siblings and their partners would hurry up and have kids so I can be fun Guncle Craig.
It was Kevin’s 30th birthday recently. To mark the occasion we decided to recreate some old family photos. Hope you enjoy. It was such a laugh, and I would highly recommend it.
My partner, Patrick:
Fate was smiling on me the day I met Patrick for a coffee. One of the many things I love about him is that he is very intelligent and challenges me. We may have different views on some things, and our friends may laugh at our political debates – I’m sure he thinks I am some crazy far-left liberal. But, he forces me to expand my mind, and challenge what I believe.
We are very different; I wear my heart on my sleeve and am an open book, Patrick is much more reserved and considered. But that is why we work. We compliment each other. Two of me definitely wouldn’t work in a relationship. I don’t think two of him would work either.
I am not always the easiest person: I expect a lot, can get easily stressed in my personal life (though not in my professional life for some reason), and I guess you could say I’m a little high maintenance. However, Patrick always tries his best to help me through these times, even if I don’t always seem to appreciate it at the time, and I love him for that.
It cannot be easy to be in a relationship with a student, and he supports me so much. I cannot wait until I qualify so that I can contribute more financially to our relationship and I can pay to put in our dream kitchen to our new flat.
I am aware I’ve made myself sound like a terrible boyfriend. But I hope Patrick would disagree.
I love spending time with my friends, and I could sit here and list them all. However, I have chosen two of the most special people to me: Lisa and Rachel.
This is my best friend Lisa and me at her wedding earlier this year. I was honoured to be asked to do a reading and fought back the tears throughout. Because Lisa isn’t just a friend, she is a second sister. She was one of the only people, other than my family, that was there for me during one of the worst moments of my life. And more importantly, she was there for my mum. I can never thank her enough for that. But she did it without question, that is who Lisa is.
She still lives in London, where she works as an incredibly successful actress – we went to stage school together in Glasgow, and then trained together in London – so I don’t get to see her as much as I would like. However, when we do see each other, it is like we have never been apart. That is friendship.
This is Rachel and me at Glasgow Pride where we marched together with the RCN. Again, like with Patrick, fate was smiling on me the day Rachel and I sat together, purely by chance, on our first day in class in our second year. We have since become inseparable at university.
We both articulated into the second year, but from different colleges. I am in awe of Rachel because she is completing her nursing degree while bringing up two amazing little girls, who marched at Pride alongside us. She has become a confidante and a true friend. I continuously overthink everything and am a notorious people pleaser. Rachel helps me get out of my head. I am so grateful that she came into my life and we have such a giggle together, which helps us get through the stresses of a nursing degree. We also both have a shared love of “Queer Eye”.
I love animals! Like I have mentioned, I have a tendency to get stressed, and there is something about stroking a pet, and the unconditional love they give that makes that all melt away. I have two cats, Clara-Rose and Captain Jack (named for Harkness, not Sparrow). Can you see the Doctor Who connection? I may be a fan. They now live with their Granny and Grampa – my mum and dad – because they wouldn’t be able to go outside at our house due to the main road. But I still see them for cuddles all the time, and they love living there.
The other pictures are of my brother and his wife’s Labradors, Baba and Manu, and Patrick’s dad’s dog, Honey. I love them and get lots of attention when I go and visit them. Though “no kissing faces!”
I don’t think I’m unique in that I love holidays and the sunshine. But I do! In fact, I’m currently on holiday now. I started this blog post on the plane out to Gran Canaria and am now finishing it by the poolside.
The sun makes me so happy. As a Scotsman, I feel I definitely may have been born in the wrong country. I also love visiting new places, and there are so many I want to see. One of my only regrets is that I never took a gap year out to see the world. But, I am sure there will be opportunities to visit some of the places on my bucket list.
The pictures below are of mine and Patrick’s first holiday together last year with his family to Ibiza. We had such a great time.
Last, but certainly not least, I love Harry Potter, and I am a Hufflepuff through and through.
I remember picking up the first book at a school book fair before the hype had really blown up around it, and I was hooked straight away. I grew up reading the ‘Worst Witch’ books, and there was something slightly reminiscent of those, but it was so much better.
I was 11 when the first book came out, so if J.K Rowling had continued to write one each year, I would have been the same age as Harry throughout the series. I will forgive her; they did get considerably longer.
I still listen to the audiobooks to this day, as I can’t fall asleep without having white noise in the background. I honestly never tire of the stories.
Below are some photos of my colleagues and me from Glasgow Caledonian University. We went out on an educational exchange placement to California State University, Long Beach. While we were there, we went to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Oh my goodness, I had the time of my life. I even got selected by Ollivander’s assistant to have my wand pick me. Yes, the wand chooses the wizard. I now have a willow wand with a core of dragon heartstring. Yes, I am sure they just selected the grown adult in the “Hufflepuff Quidditch Team Captain” t-shirt because they knew I would be an easy wand sale, but don’t spoil my fun.
Again, this has been more of a confessional than I originally intended. But, I guess this is what the 30-day blog challenge is doing to me, and it feels good to share. I hope you enjoyed and got something out of it.